Inherently Evil
by Uncleverrr
Summary: Sam and Dean thought they were over their head when they brought in one child, who was also a nephilim. But when they brought in another with an even foggier past into their family, everything went completely crazy.
1. Summary

Eve has lived with the Winchester's since she was born. She didn't get caught up with the killing and death as much as Sam and Dean did when they were her age.

She has to look after Jack who is the devil's son and make sure he doesn't turn into something bad and kill the world. But little did she now, she's just as evil as Jack.

Her life changed completely changed when she helped hide a body after her psychopathic crush, Clarice, murders a pedophile.

Everything in her world flips upside down.

How can she control her powers and go back to her 'normal' life?


	2. Falling from Grace Falling from Good

_**I got the Idea of writing this fanfic by listening to Vermillion/Vermillon by Slipknot**_

 _-It wasn't there fault that Jack Left._

 _It was mine and only mine._

When a nephilim is born everything is thrown out of whack.

Sam and Dean and Castiel took me in and raised me when I was just a little girl. When I begged them to put me in school, they did so, even if Jack teased me a little. I wanted to be normal for once. But knowing there were demons and angels lurching around waiting to pounce forced me to learn how to kill. How to kill for Jack. I never hunted though. And I had to always keep a watch on Jack to make sure he didn't go crazy.

I don't know my mother or father. All I know is that I was raised by strong men. Even though they were killers. They showed me that everything was grey. That evil wasn't really evil and that even good was corrupt. There was no black or white in a world gone mad.

But what the hell was going on in this universe. Yet another nephilim was being born. Two in one universe at the same time was destined for trouble.

 _"What if the baby isn't like you Jack!"_

 _"The baby will be. I know it."_

And like that he puffed away. Not saying his goodbyes. His powers were getting stronger everyday.

"Anderson." The teacher said firmly. My attention snapped back to her and I looked at the board and finally began to pay attention. My grades were amazing, but Dean or Sam or Cas didn't know that of course because they never seemed to ask or care. These days, all they do is look for Jack and I understand why. I just wished they noticed me once in awhile.

My real name, you may ask. Eve Winchester.

I know, it's kind of ironic being called the mother of creation, but my mother gave it to me. Honestly, my first name is mine and my last name, the Winchester's. I was apart of them, of course. I was their family. But I wasn't at the same time.

It was the last period of the day and I put all of my books in my locker as Clarice, a strange girl at my school (also my only friend) came up and tapped me on my shoulder.

"What are you doing, your class is in the other building you _should_ be running right now." I said.

"I wanna do something bad."

"Like?"

"Skip." Her voice trailed off, waiting for my reaction. It was a good Idea. The day drug it's feet and I was already waiting patiently for it to end. If I got caught they wouldn't care. I threw my backpack over my shoulder and walked outside. My heart should have been pounding, screaming, telling me to go the other way. But it kept it's cool like it always did.

I was the most level headed out of the small Winchester family. I tried to be kind and nice. But it was hard with so much death. My small slice of family tried to shield me from all the killing and mayhem they caused. I had seen them kill before.

Clarice and I are the same, almost. She's empty, like me.

We walked right through the front door and I wondered where we would go but said nothing. I only walked.

I had only been to Clarice's house once before and it was full of silence and secretes and nothingness. The kinda nothingness that lasts a while, even after you were long gone.

I usually rode my bike to school. No one in the house woke up that early and I didn't want to wake them up. They were all grumpy in the morning. She doesn't know just how early I get up to ride several miles just to meet up with her. Then go to school. I did all of this for normacie. But all I got in return was boredom.

We rode long, for an hour almost and I knew school was over. I was told that someone would pick me up everytime at the end of the day, but of course, that wasn't true. So I had some breathing room of when I should come home.

Clarice rode in front of me. Her black hair bounced and fell in the in wind. One of her hand held out and caught the air and her light brown school skirt just floated and bounced happily. Her tucked in white shirt couldn't be seen as it was covered by her brown school given sweater that almost none of the girls wore out of school. It was oddly warm for the end of Winter which was probably global warming. You could almost see her freckled, rose-y cheeks when her hair moved at just the right place. She had red, slightly full lips, and big round eyes that gave my heart a pull every time I looked into them. But they were so cold. Something scary hide behind them, but I never let myself peek that far into her. I think I liked her. But I didn't know. I quicken my pase to catch up with her but she was always ahead of me. _Always._

The road was straight ahead and lead us out of town.

"Where do you wanna go, Eve." The way the light caught her face killed me. It was just too perfect and forced like someone was making a movie of us. But this was so real. Her nose was cartoonish and was made up of a round bubble and a thin bridge.

"Anywhere but here." I answered. Something miraculous happened. She reached out to me, her hands wide and giving as she offered me her hand to hold. I upheld that offer and grabbed her cold fingers. My hands began to feel even colder as I tightened my grip. Not wanting to let go. I was told my hands were Lukewarm.

I was once told I was lukewarm.

We rode like this for awhile. There was no call from Dean or Sam or Cas. There was nothing. We rode all the way to the dollar theater. I had some cash left over from my birthday. Our hands didn't let go as we entered the booth to take pictures and watched a horror movie simply about murder and nothing more.

There was a cabin in the woods that a blond, empty headed girl (who was of course popular) and her boyfriend, a girl with black hair and glasses (the nerd), and a horny couple decided to go to escape and get high. Some alcohol mixed into the business. A man with a mask took them out one by one in a bloody mess.

It was a simple movie. Predictable, to say the least, but intriguing. There was evil in the human race, yes, but evil was okay at times.

 _Evil was okay at times._

This thought echoed through my head and as it stayed there it became to feel more real and comfortable.

It was night time. Neither of us were scared about parents. We were both calm.

So.

Calm.

We walked towards our bikes but looked around as someone called for us.

"Girls. Where ya going? If you need help, we can take you home." Someone's father said with a charming, real smile. His eyes glimmered in the moonlight.

"No thank you-" I was interrupted by Clarice.

"We'd love a ride." Her smile was wide as she jumped in the car and waited for me.

I had watched my fair share of movies and this reminded me a little too much of Jennifer's Body; How Jennifer walked into the band members car, how her friend didn't go with her, how she was murdered and became an evil, hot bitch. I couldn't let Clarice be Jennifer.

I jumped into the car, my bookbag close to my body, and I waited awkwardly to go home. My heart didn't pound. This all seemed too, rehearsed. We told the man where we lived and he happily took us there. Or as so we thought. The car ride was the shortest in history but lasted so long. The roads didn't changed or move, they just went straight.

The car was almost there, I could see the sign of the town right there. The man's headlights burned on the sign as he parked on the side on the road. I felt like that blond in those scary movies, "Do go in there!" I could almost hear someone scream. It was too late.

The man was young, but old. He had a mustache (first red flag) and round, vintage glasses. He just sat there looking forward. I glanced at Clarice and her face wasn't scared. She said nothing. Did she know? Did she want this?

She wasn't stupid and we didn't live in the 60's or 50's. Bad was everywhere and everywhere was bad.

"How old are you girls."

What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?

"Take us home." I said firmly.

He finally began turning around, the lock of the door clicked on and I tried to push it up with no prevail because he just clicked it down again.

"You girls knew what you were doing. You wanted this, didn't you?" No. I don't think we did. I swallowed hard, my legs pressing against each other. I pushed my back into the seat, attempting to distance myself.

He moved his old hands and touched my leg and moved it up. I froze but quickly smacked it away.

My eye's watered as my hearing faded in and out, in and out. Blood was splattered all over my face and skirt and white, white shirt. Brain matter, it seemed, was stuck to my face and the windshield.

Clarice did this on purpose. This was her chance, wasn't it?

A Silver gun still pointed in the air.

The gun was thick and big. It had enough force to evaporate the man's brains.

Yeah, that's right. This whole time her hand was in her bag. Even while he was driving. It all happened so fast, even she seemed stunned. Adrenaline rushed through my body as a light bulb turned on in my body. I slowly removed the gun from her still hands and shoved it into my bag. She did this not me. Why did I feel like this was my doing.

I finally opened the car door and unbuttoned my shirt. My white bra underneath. I didn't care how bare I was. I had to fix this. I put on my black gloves that were originally bought to show my rebellion but now where to. Fix this.

"Take your shirt off." I instructed and she did so. I got the lighter from my bag and torched the shirts. I opened the door on the driver's side and wanked the man out from his feet and dragged him into the woods. "Go somewhere and get a shovel and some shirts and pants and lots and lots of water." I handed her the rest of my birthday money. She quickly went to the gas station and was back in thirty minutes but I wasn't counting. My heart beats were slow and pounded hard. So. Hard.

I began digging a deep enough grave which took hours, even with Clarice's help. We said nothing.

We threw his body into the shallow grave. I dumped the rest of our clothes in there. I threw a couple matches in too, making sure it burned. He burned.

I poured all the bottles of water in the man's car and scrubbed it down. Even putting some on the ground to get the blood stains out of it. I scrubbed until my fingers were burning, yelling at me to stop. I got a big rock from outside and put it through the window. Making sure there was none left. Clarice and I drove the car hours and hours out of town and left it in some alley.

"How are we gonna get home?" Clarice asked, not an ounce of emotion in her system.

"I have to call someone." I didn't even notice how dry and how much my thoat acked.

We waited outside of an old dinner full of truckers. That black impala came in a couple hours. Some people glared at us curiously as they left and some even asked if we were fine. But we didn't answer. "Don't tell anyone." I said as we walked towards the car.

"Same for you." She answered.

We entered the car. Dean and Castiel both looked back at us before moving. This car was so smoothe. So smooth.

I had never been so thoughtless in my whole life. I was snapped out of my world when Dean spoke up, "So any of you girls gonna tell me what happened?" He said in a stern, gravelly voice. Clarice and I looked at eachother for a couple seconds. Waiting for someone to speak up.

"We got bored of school and went to my house for a couple hours."

"Yeah." I said. I looked at the fallen angel, Cas. He looked like he had seen something before, like he had seen a ghost.

"Yep." Clarice was so animated as she talked. If I didn't know what happened, I would think it was all genuine.

"Wait, so you're telling me-" Dean paused, " That you walked through the woods, got really dirty. Changed clothes. And just walked hours out of town?" I nodded. I couldn't look Dean in the eye. I only gazed at my sweat-pant covered thighs.

"Yep, that's what I'm telling ya." Clarice said.

"And you skipped school to do all of this?" Cas asked.

I was 7 seconds behind the outside world. My mental clock clicking slowly. But after a second or two I finally nodded.

"Yeah." I said.

Castiel and Dean almost looked relieved and ate up our story bit by bit.

Dean and Castiel took her home and the car ride to the bunker was silent. I entered the bunker and head downstairs and I saw Sam. Probably looking for Jack. "Where have you been, Ev-"

I sighed long and hard. My brain played a slow, winding song of silence and the hum of a blind man. I wrapped my arms around my body to hold myself up, my knees were weak and shaky. But I forced them to lock into place. My back slumped over and I gazed at the ground.

"What's wrong Eve? Sam asked, genuinely worried. I had not been like this in awhile. I forever.

I was only like this one time before when Jack flung me against the wall, but he swore he didn't mean to. I remembered how scared I was of him. He got so angry at me. Mostly because we got in this huge argument over nothing . I didn't deserve that though.

Since Jack's different, he's given a different set of rules than me.

 _1) Although eavesdropping is bad, if you do eavesdrop to hard, you can scramble someone's brains._

 _2) Humans are good._

 _3) Never murder unless need be._

 _5) Demons are sometimes good._

 _6) Everything is born good._

 _7) Don't use that mojo unless you need to._

 _8) Never just leave._

 _9) Family comes first._

 _10) Always protect us. And Eve._

This set of rules were important for him. Evil thoughts drown out the good ones sometime, or so Jack told me.

He deserved better than that. So much better. This thought shock me, brought me to my knees.

I ignored Sam and walked up the stairs, slowly closing the creeky, heavy door. My bedroom was heavily decorated with pictures of Dean and Castiel and Sam. Stars hung from the roof and the roof was painted midnight purple.

I relived the second over and over again of me watch Clarice's shoot that man dead.

I jumped on the bed and curled up into a ball.


	3. The Slap of Death

I always thought I'd die with my finger on a trigger, practically committing suicide for Jack. Everything was for

Jack, my life for Jack.

But dying in a hotel room wasn't the way I thought I'd go.

My back laid on the dusty motel bed as I stared up at the white, bumpy ceiling.

Dean said I could go on a hunt with them for once. But they stranded me in the motel.

I wore my white dress that was fluffy and just flowed.

 _They didn't know yet._

I had gotten into my dream college and it was far, far away from here. A full ride too. That part surprised me the most. For once, I saw a future. I sat up and grabbed my phone, rubbing the edges.

Jack still didn't answer my text.

I tossed my phone across the room to the other bed.

I would be graduating next year and if I wanted, I could just get it over with and do the rest online.

 _I would do the rest online._

I decided. I giggle and flopped back down on my back, looking at the ceiling again. I took in a long breath and sighed.

I closed my eye's, just for a second. Barley even that and drifted away.

I would leave finally, oh as I thought.

But I was stuck. They closed me in, well that Angel did. The supernatural caught up with me.

I was awaken to a cold hand wrapped around my mouth, silencing me.

"Mhm. Mhm!" I tried to say something, anything.

I knew that thing with the angel killing knife in it's hand was an angel just by looking at it. You could smell the self righteousness and you could see the half-assed pain it's eye's. I moved my legs around but they were bond to the ned. I tried harder and harder but it didn't work.

 _She's growing everyday. This is good, this is good._

The Angel thought.

They had to know killing me was a death wish, but it didn't seem to care. They put the knife in the air and it held there for the longest couple seconds of my whole life. It was like I was working my way up a rollercoaster. I felt the plunge when the knife went down. It went right through my chest.

I yelped in pain and skimmed a little. My eye's roll back but I forced them back into place. I looked down at my chest, my once white dress was stained red.

My legs went up and down but they didn't let go. I looked into my murderer's eyes, they seemed to distance themself from the situation. They seemed so unfazed, but then I looked deeper. They yanked the weapon out of my chest, and it stayed there for a second again, and it plunged back down.

This took me away.

I was dead. I watched as they stabbed faster and harder until they were positive I was finished. But I was finished by the second stab and they were already on the 4th.

I looked so pale. My cheeks completely void of any type of color. My eye's reflectiveness, gone. I lost my light slowly. My black hair was everywhere, but the culprate finger combed it, make it neat and clean. They put my feet straight. My dress was all the way bunched to my waist but they pulled it down, with two tugs. They touched my face and backed away from my lifeless body. They sighed slowly, and disappeared out of the room.

I sat on the chair-well my soul did. I waited patiently for Sam and Dean and Jack and Castiel. And was surprised that my reaper didn't come yet.

How could this happen?

How could this happen to me?

My thoughts echoed in low whispers.

I got into my dream university. Not 5 hours ago I was prancing around, happy that I was leaving. But now, I was just angry.

I stayed there, staring at the door for hours. But time seemed to speed up now that I was dead. So morning came so fast.

I stared that door down.

Then came.

"Sorry we took so long Eve." Dean walked into the room. But Sam was already at the door staring in horror. Dean turned his head and saw me. Jack looked behind Sam and ran into the room

"Eve." He shook my arm. My head moved back and forth. Like I had a bobble head. Castiel was not to far away from Dean. But they didn't react. Only Jack did.

Jack was always so emotional. He always said I was as gold as the sun but he was the only one really gold.

He grabbed my body and held me in his arms. He put his head to my chest and began to cry.

"That's a first." I said. My eye's began to water slightly but I didn't feel like crying. "I'm ready." I said, looking down.

"Finally." I heard echo through my brain. The reaper touched my shoulder and turned me around. "Gah- I always wished I'd have the boys. They killed my boss after all." The reaper was a woman, although I knew that was just a shell. Their real form was much more, intense.

"You ready?"

I took one finally look into Jack's face and nodded. He was in so much pain. I put him in so much pain. I looked down at myself in shame. Even now, blood stained my favorite white dress.

And I faded into the abyss. As I faded, I could almost see a weight come off of them. I was grateful.

I was so ready. So ready to fry in Hell. But I could almost taste Heaven when I was there. It made me weightless. It made float.


	4. Anger

The first few days of Heaven were indulgent the least. But my pasted always caught up with me when I decided to go to sleep.

A week after I killed that man.

Someone knocked on my door but I didn't get up. It had been a week since we killed that man. A week since I went out of my room (besides to take showers and brush my teeth). And I wasn't hungry at all.

"You're gonna have to answer eventually." Dean said. He paused but a second." Jack's back." I sat up and looked at the door in surprise.

I had never felt anger. I only felt sadness. That kinda sadness that rumbled you and shook you, bringing you to reality. Anger was never a thing. But I felt anger now. Any other time Jack would leave I would run into his arms and scold him and tell him how sorry I was and how it was all my fault. But it wasn't this time.

I walked out of my room.

I was still pissed that I was suspended and exams were coming up and Jack was gone. And now he's here.

He stood there, waiting for a response. "Hey, Eve." Jack said like nothing ever happened. I looked him in the eye's and could see the fire in them were burning out. I was hurt and it showed on my face.

"Where were you, you can't just leave like that."

His eyes averted from me and looked at nothing. "I wasn't causing destruction, if that's what you mean." Why did he always do that? Flip me on my head and make me look like the bad guy.

I shook my head. I was officially sick of that. It left a bad taste in my mouth. He couldn't do this again. It'd break me.

I walk a little away from the bunker's entrance and sat on this big rock, looking around. I guess Jack followed me. I put my head in my hands in defeat and rubbed my eye's of sleep with my palms. I sighed deeply.

Jack sat by me, looking at me from the side of his eye. He always did that. He broke the silence.

"They told me what happened with up." He said, his eye now looking at the horizon. "They know something's up. They know you did something... Bad. " He took in a longer breath and exhaled. "Cas said he felt it when you were in the car. He felt something, evil and wrong. What did you do, Eve."

"What did you do? Why did you leave, Where did you go?" I had so many questions, even though I knew some would be left unanswered or just false lie's. I couldn't take it if he lied to me. Not again.

"I looked for the Nefilim, I found it to. Ya know something funny. The demon's and angel's teamed up on this one. They killed the woman dead and her baby."

"I guess no one wants to be brought to it's knees." I knew those comments hurt him the most, but I didn't care.

You could always trace those comments back to him.

His pale blue eye's glance at me. I knew if he went to highschool, girls would swoon over him.

"Wow. No sorry huh. None at all."

"I'm not sorry." He said. How I wished he lied to me.

"Of course." I said throwing my hands out. "Of fucking course." I shook my head. "You left for two weeks Jack, two whole weeks. Without a call. You could've been dead."

"Why do you always have to argue." He rose his voice.

I jumped off the rock and face him "Why do you, always have to leave!" I yelled, throwing my hands up.

"You're so difficult, ya know that."

"And you're so goddamn... So god damn..." I didn't know what to say. I had to be something that hurt but something that didn't leave a stain on our friendship.

"Say it." His eye-lids lower and he looked at the rocky ground.

"So god damn hard. You don't even know what you have with them!" I motioned to the bunked. He fell silent.

"You know, they would kill for you. They would die for you and all so you won't become evil! And me, I'm always an afterthought." I kicked the dirt that was on the ground. I could see he was losing it. "And ya know it's fucking hard. I'll give my life for you before I'd try to survive for you." This comment hurt. I would never try to stay alive for myself.

"Well Fuck! Eve! I had no fucking idea that your father is the fucking devil!"

"Just because your father is the devil doesn't mean you have to be bad!" Jack was standing now, right in front of me. I was the only person that had the balls to tell him this.

"Well it kinda does."

"Then what! All that fucking time and effort wasted-"

"Time and Effort? Time and effort trying to fix me huh? You're just as bad as me Eve!"

"Go to hell, Jack." Jack pushed me on the ground with his mojo and I just sat there in defeat for a couple seconds.

I wish I had power. Some type of strong power that could move mountains. I dusted myself off and stood up.

"You're only jealous, Eve. You're seriously fucked in the head."

"I'm fucked in the head? We're both fucked in the head. Haven't you noticed?" He pushed me on the ground, and when I got up, he pushed me on the ground again.

I sat on the ground, looking at my bruised hands. He looked at me in that way he did when he was trying to eavesdrop. He looked defeated and looked at me again.

My head ring and blood dripped from my ears. I screamed in pain. I wished I had the power to make him stop.

"Jack stop." I said. "Jack! Please stop!" Everything began getting blurry. I think I passed out.

And the wall came tumbling down.

Whispers filled my ears as I frantically looked around. Looking for who was talking so god damn loud. I felt paranoia fill my senses.

Someone was telling me something, I just didn't know what they were saying. They were talking to fast. I felt like my brains were scrambled completely. I felt like a damsel, so useless and vulnerable. I sat up. I felt so delirious and confused. My head did a dance and I felt like I would be sick.

I parted my eye's. The passed events came to me do quick. I couldn't believe that Jack would do that to me. When my vision finally cleared something in my brain clicked. Like a light was turned on that couldn't be turned off. I knew it was. It was on the tip of my tongue.


	5. I miss them

**Eve talks about her firsts nights in Heaven dreams and her experiances. (I talk about sex in this so don't act like I didn't say anything). Light Destiel.**

 **I was never a normal girl. Besides the obvious reasons, the things normal teenage girls thought about, I didn't. I had always thought sex was a strange and unfamiliar, awkward act. I always thought boys were just as the saying went, from a different planet. Makeup was never my forte. Everything that had to do with being a 'normal' girl was weird to me. I always thought Sam and Dean should have found a boy instead of me. They shouldn't need to deal with bra's and periods and puberty. I could barely deal with most of that stuff myself. Honestly, Castiel was the one who helped me with that stuff (mostly because he had been a woman before). He went shopping with me, he helped me pick out outfits and he took me to the mall. I could almost relate to Castiel but it was hard at times. I felt so comfortable talking to him about my old crushes, I even mentioned Clarice on time or another. He didn't even ask about my sexuality. Mostly because Cas loved what he loved. He felt what he felt. At least with me. Castiel was always forced to buy me pads (which the thought of that is hilarious). He was forced to go bra shopping with me. Dean didn't trust me going by myself, alone until I turned 15. I was a late bloomer, my boobs didn't take complete effect until I finally turned 16, and even then they were smaller than the norm.**

 **I could talk to Cas about my insecurities without him doing the Dean thing.**

 **"** ** _It's really funny Cas. I always feel like Ima start laughing when Dean says 'Let's not have a chick flick moment'. He acts so stereotypical and heterosexual it's insane. Plus, he loves watching chick flicks with me, they get a bad wrap."_**

 **I remember saying with him while he drove me to the closest store.**

 **Heterosexual, Dean was not. Dean was with Cas. Cas was with Dean. I prayed I could find love like that.**

 **Jack wasn't like my brother, he was more like a childhood friend. Well, I'd like to think that. He was like my brother, mostly, but it was weird calling him that… It's hard not to be swooned by him. He had charm and looks. Nice looks.**

 **Me? I was normal looking. I had striking black hair, it reflected every color effortlessly. It was deep and strong. My eye's, the same color. My eye's were big and round, my lips, plump and not to big. Medium. Full and pink.**

 **Jack was reminiscent of Dean. He had a strong presence but so many guards. He wasn't misguided, but he still had that trait.**

 **His eyes, light blue. During the summer, he had light freckles, but they were faint.**

 **I dreamt of Jack all night in Heaven at times. And Castiel most of the time. I dreamt of Jack's smile and Cas' and I's conversations.**

 **Cas always had that soft, smile. He never used what I said against me. And Cas never tried to give solutions, he only ever listened.**

 **And Dean. He was good at a lot of things like killing, shooting, and sex. It was cringey to think of them in that way but it was true. When Cas forgot his filter he'd bring words like 'passion' to describe Dean and that's where I drew the line.**

 **I could talk to Dean about shooting and stuff. I couldn't ask him about Mary, or his dad. Those touchy things brought him pain. So I always talked about shooting or asked him to take me places like to school or Clarice's house. Or even watch tv with me.**

 **I tried so hard to forget her; Clarice. She was right in the middle of the protagonist and antagonist. We had a string of moments. Once, she randomly picked me up in her dad's bet up truck that was given to her for her 17th birthday. We went to a secluded field and popped fireworks. She was my first. I consider her my first, everything. First crush, first kiss, first person I actually slept with. But she was so empty. A psychopath. She could never hear me. Feel me like I felt her. No one knows that I crushed on her so hard. No one knew anything about my love life besides Cas and I only gave him table scraps.**

 **Dean and Cas' room was downstairs, by the library. My room, upstairs, by the Kitchen. And Jack's room was right by mine.**

 **Jack had already had sex. With a female, a very hot female. She had dirty blond hair, big boobs, and she was… hot. That's it, hot. He had no feelings for her.**

 **Even he strunck when I asked him about it. He didn't want to talk about those personal things.**

 **"** ** _It was… nothing."_**

 **I was half offended when he said that. He just used her to get off literally. But she did the same for him. It was like a legal, consensual transaction. But that sounded so, unromantic.**

 **"** ** _Just, don't do it okay."_** **I remember laughing a little and nodding. If every girl actually listened when someone told them that, there would be no women for them to sleep with.**

 **Teenage life seemed to rotate around the idea of sex. Touching, feeling, kissing. I think I only really grasped that idea when I was with Clarice, but even then the experience feel short.**

 **Knowing she felt nothing for me simply because she couldn't made me feel so, sad. You could see the coldness in her eyes as she touched me. Everything went back to normal afterwards. I just didn't see the fascination.**

 **Clarice's eyes were like an empty void took me to a different dimension. The noises she made was so worth sex. If all I could do was hear those noises, I'd be okay.**

 **After a couple sleeps in Heaven, all of those thoughts began to hurt. So they disappeared.**

Castiel's past was so interesting. He was the only one that actually sad anything about his past. It was blemished and slow. Cas' was a human and he was an Angel and he was Jimmy and he was Cas. He was so many personality's. He was even god at one point. He had lied to Dean and He had fell for Dean.


End file.
